Comfort Zones

I've determined that comfort zones are a big part of life: both finding them and getting out of them. Remember when you went from middle school to high school and it was scary and new? Then you became so comfortable and at home in high school that the thought of going away to college terrified you. That first day at college everything seemed so big and foreign and you had the "small fish in a big pond" feeling. Remember how intimidating everything was? And then what happened? College bacame your comfort zone, just as high school had been before.
I was driving around UA's campus the other day and I thought about how if I suddenly turned blind and deaf I think I could still find my way around campus. My feet would just know where to go. I walked to class down those sidewalks so many times the paths became part of my programming.
The classrooms I spent so many days in were home. The familiar smells and faces were my comfort zone. I felt safe and secure on my college campus, so far from the feelings of nervousness and displacement I felt when I first walked through the campus years before. I knew what my every day would be like.
Now as I'm on the verge of being jerked out of my comfort zone of crimson and white and put into a whole other world I'm reflecting on the importance of getting out of that zone we get stuck in. Of course the easy thing to do would be to stay where we've grown accustomed to being and find comfort in the routine we've established. But getting out of that zone and throwing yourself into something new and scary is part of living. We can never fully experience life unless we're constantly putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations.
Eventually those news places will become comfortable. I wonder if that's when it's time to move on from that? I wonder when it's time to settle into one zone? Or is it about having one place comfortable to come home to but continuing to see new places and experience new things?
I don't know what the balance is, but I know that when I become comfortable I let my guards down and I let my standards fall a bit. It seems like I don't try as hard as I should when I'm in familiar circumstances. Keeping myself on my feet is the best way for me to perform at the level I know I can. I do better when I'm uncomfortable because I feel like I have to prove myself to everyone. Routine makes me lazy.
Maybe not everyone thinks that way. I don't know.

these are not my people

Have you ever found yourself in a situation and you realize "These are not my people"? You are surrounded by people who you have nothing in common with and find yourself terribly out of place among them. I had this experience recently, and it made me reflect on all the other times I've felt this way. It occured to me I'm not really sure who my people actually are. I know who my closest friends are and I always feel comfortable around them, but what about everyone else? I think figuring out who your people are is a key step in figuring out who you are. Where do you feel most comfortable? Most importantly, where do you feel like you don't have to be someone you're not?

I once found myself feeling inadequate because I had nothing to add to a conversation about eating organically and participating in contra and African dance festivals. These girls seemed to look down on me because I'm not part of the Earth Child movement. As the day went on I realized I was feeling bad about myself because I felt uninteresting to these girls, but I had forgotten the plenty of people in my life who do find me interesting. I wasn't like them, and there was nothing wrong with that. I eat food from grocery stores and I occasionally eat fast food and I can't dance to save my life, but there are plenty of other good and interesting things about me.

In school I tried to make myself fit into the journalism crowd, and I quickly realized those weren't my people, but I also didn't always feel comfortable in my creative writing classes. I remember two creative writing classes where I liked and felt comfortable around the people in my class. Those are the classes I miss when I think back on college.
I think it's natural to want to fit in with a group of people. It's human nature to want that feeling of belonging and kinship. We just have to make sure we're trying to fit in with the right group and not trying to change ourselves to please other people. Be yourself and your people will find you.

Shoulds, wants, and fulfillment

I thought the unknown was scary. And it is. But the known is pretty intimidating as well. Somehow I thought getting that letter saying "You're in! Congrats!" from UAB would solve my problems. I kept saying "Well, once I know one way or the other I'll feel better." Uh, no. I don't. Now a million questions are running through my mind. Am I selling myself short by staying in Alabama and just going to by backup plan school? Am I choosing the right course of study? And most importantly....why am I REALLY going to school? Is it because I want to or because I think I SHOULD. There's that word, the one that determines what people everywhere do with their lives. We are stuck in a cycle of trying to find fulfillment in doing what we should do. Those things will make us happy and successful, we think. But will they really fulfill us? What is underneath all the shoulds in your life? What are the wants?
Some people do find happiness in education.
Some people find happiness in a job they love, and they have no need to keep going to school. They already have what they want.
Some people find happiness in starting a family. The love they get from husbands, kids, being a mom is what they need to feel fulfilled.
I am almost envious of people who seem so confident in what they want, whatever it is, because I don't really know right now what is going to make me happy.
I know I'll find it, but I hope I don't get too lost in searching.

The twenty-somethings' revolution

I'm reading a book called Twenty Something Twenty Everything about the quarter-life crisis unique to women, especially recent college grads. This crisis is characterized by the feeling of "nothing is wrong, but nothing feels right either."
This feeling is brought on by the expectations put on us by society to figure out our lives in that period between starting college and turning 30. Decide what you want to do forever, graduate with good grades and a clear path cut for the next few years, get a fabulous job, get your own place, find the perfect man who'll let you be independent but can be relied on, get married, have kids, balance family and career, and look great in the process.
Parents remind us daily what's expected of us and keep the pressure on us to get it all together.
So, what happens if we didn't figure out exactly what we want to do while we were busy making the grades in college? What if we graduated with good grades but aren't ready to settle in one job right away? Or worse, what if we graduated into a bad economy and there isn't a job to settle into? What if the guy we love doesn't quite fit the mold of the perfect guy? What if neither of you are ready to get married and crank out the kids?
What if we're not ready to be grown-ups the day after college graduation?
I need more time. I haven't fully discovered who I am yet and I'm not completely sure what I want out of life. I need time to figure it out. Can't I be afforded that time?
I'm starting a revolution. We don't have to be perfect right now. We don't have to be perfect EVER. It's my life. I'll figure it out, but I'll figure it out on my terms.
Twenty-somethings rise up and fight against expectations. Let's do it our way.