Yesterday was my first day in graduate school. While I was getting ready to go with a friend who is in the same program as I am, we were chatting about how we didn't feel very excited. Shouldn't we feel accomplished and smart and ready to tackle the next big thing? Well, that was just it. This didn't feel like the next BIG thing.
"I feel like I used to have a Coach bag, and now I'm carrying a knockoff" she said, referring to the fact that we used to go to The University of Alabama and now we go to the University of Alabama at Birmingham.
Is this school we're attending now somehow not as good? Should we feel like we're taking a step down? Maybe it's not true, but it certainly feels like it.
I feel like I'm walking around with a Folex watch and a Prado wallet. At first glance, it looks like the real thing. But then you look at the fine print. It's not the real thing. It's a convincing knockoff, but a knockoff, nonetheless.
I don't feel proud. I don't feel like I want to run around announcing where I to school. I relate it to when I bought fake Chanel sunglasses in China Town. Sure, I was happy to have those famous C's on my sunglasses for only $10, but I didn't feel the need to tell everyone, "Oh, these aren't real. They're knockoffs." Of course I wanted to walk around with them on my face and let people think I had real Chanels.
So, now that I'm not longer at The University, I've lost my real Coach bag and I'm settling for the knockoff.
Feeling this way makes me wonder what else in life is a knockoff. What am I carrying that looks like the real thing but isn't? Am I settling for the next best thing in other places in my life too?
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